Hold and review a real one-on-one

You will run a one-on-one using the agenda and questions, then review how it went.

You have a rhythm, a question bank and a shared document. None of it means much until you sit across from someone, in a meeting room or on a video call, and run the meeting. This exercise walks through one real one-on-one from the day before to the hour after, then asks you to review it honestly. If you don't manage anyone yet, ask a colleague or friend to play a direct report and give them a real topic to bring.

Before the meeting

Step 1 is to send the agenda link a day ahead. Send the shared document from lesson 2.3, A shared document that makes each meeting count, with a short message. Wei Ling sent this to Hui Min on Wednesday afternoon: "Our one-on-one is tomorrow at 3. I've opened a new section in the doc. Can you add whatever you'd like to talk about first? I'll add mine below."

Step 2 is to pick two or three questions from your bank. Look at what the person added and choose questions that fit. From the bank you built in lesson 2.2, Questions that get past everything is fine, choose one about this week, and one about working together or growth. Write them in your own topics section so you don't forget them.

Step 3 is to check last meeting's actions. Look at what was agreed and whether you did your part. If you didn't, be ready to say so first.

During the meeting

Step 4 is to start with their topics. Open with their first item, not yours. If they added nothing, ask a specific question from your bank rather than "so, anything?"

Step 5 is to let them talk. Aim for the other person to talk for most of the meeting. You are there to listen, ask follow-up questions and help them think. If you notice yourself explaining something at length, stop and ask a question instead.

A useful habit is to answer a problem with a question first. When Hui Min said the new reporting tool was slowing her down, Wei Ling's instinct was to describe the shortcut she uses. She asked instead: "Which part is slowest?" The answer turned out to be the export step, which she didn't know about at all.

Step 6 is to bring your own topics last. Keep them to one or two. Anything that is only a status question should have been answered in writing beforehand.

Step 7 is to close with actions and a check. In the last five minutes, agree the actions, type them in with owners and dates, and ask one closing question: "Was this a good use of your time?" or "Is there anything we should have covered and didn't?" The answer tells you whether the format is working.

A worked example

Here is how Wei Ling's 30-minute meeting with Hui Min went.

Hui Min had added two topics: the reporting tool and a question about whether she could attend a client visit. Wei Ling had added one: handing Hui Min the monthly service report.

They spent about twelve minutes on the reporting tool. The export step was the real problem, Arjun knew a workaround, and they agreed Arjun would show her on Monday. The client visit took five minutes, and the answer was yes, with Wei Ling to introduce her to the client beforehand. The service report handover took eight minutes. Hui Min was keen but nervous, and they agreed she would shadow one month before taking it over.

In the closing check, Wei Ling asked whether the time had been useful. Hui Min said yes, and then added, "I didn't know I could ask about the client visits. I thought only the senior people went." That was news to Wei Ling, and it was a small purpose problem of the kind you met in lesson 1.3, Find the real problem: purpose, people or process.

After the meeting: the five-line review

Within an hour, while it is fresh, write a five-line review for yourself. Not in the shared document, which is for both of you, but in your own notes. Wei Ling's looked like this.

Topics raised: the reporting tool export step, client visits, the service report handover. Actions agreed: Arjun to show Hui Min the export workaround Monday; Wei Ling to introduce Hui Min to the client by Friday; Hui Min to shadow the next service report. Who talked most: Hui Min for maybe two-thirds of it, though I explained the handover for too long. What I learned: she thought client visits were only for senior staff, which I would not have heard in a team meeting. What I will change: ask the closing question earlier, so there's time to act on the answer.

What done looks like

The meeting happened at the planned time, the other person's topics came first, and the actions are written in the shared document with owners and dates. You also have a five-line review that names at least one thing you learned and one thing you will change.

Be honest in the "who talked most" line. Most new managers find they talked more than they thought. That is useful to know and easy to fix next week.

Book the meeting, send the link, and run it this week, then write your review the same day.

Run the one-on-one, then write a five-line review: topics raised, actions agreed, who talked most, what you learned and what you will change.

Course

• First-time manager