Build several packages you value equally, and use the other side's choice to learn what matters most to them.
When two sides argue over a single number, such as rent, a fee or a salary, the conversation moves a few dollars at a time. Each round takes longer and both people get more irritated. It is the tug of war described in lesson 1.1. Every dollar one side gains is a dollar the other side loses, so the only movement available is up and down that one line.
You can get out of this by offering two or three complete packages at once and letting the other side choose. A package is a complete offer that covers several issues together, such as rent, lease length, repairs and notice period. Each package is different, and you would be equally happy with any of them.
With packages, the question becomes which combination works best, so you are no longer haggling over how much each side gives up. This lets you trade different issues against each other, which was set up in lesson 3.2, "List the issues and decide what you can trade". A deal usually becomes more likely, because people find it easier to choose between options than to concede a number. Choosing feels like a decision they made, while conceding feels like losing. Packages also tend to produce better deals for both sides, because each party gets more of what it values most.
The tone changes too. A single counter-offer says "I want less than you want". A set of packages says "here are ways this could work for both of us, which suits you better", and that is easier to answer politely.
Packages also make the other side show their priorities through what they choose, without you having to ask directly. You can use what you learn now and again at future renewals.
Farah is renegotiating her rent with her landlord. By the second round they have traded one number back and forth for a week. She is at S$2,900 and he is at S$3,000 (example figures, as are all the amounts in her case), each move is small and both are getting irritated.
She lists the issues in play and builds two packages. Package A is S$2,950 a month on a one-year lease, and the landlord replaces the old aircon unit before the new lease starts. Package B is S$2,900 a month on a two-year lease, and Farah arranges and pays for minor repairs herself up to an agreed amount.
Next she checks that she values them about equally. Package A costs S$35,400 a year (S$2,950 x 12). Package B costs S$34,800 (S$2,900 x 12), which is S$600 a year less, but it means taking on minor repairs and committing for two years. Farah judges a working aircon and the freedom to leave after one year to be worth about S$600 to her, so she is equally content with either.
Equal value is what separates this from a trick. She is not offering one real option plus a decoy. Both are genuine choices that suit her equally, so whichever he picks, she is fine. Every package has to pass the same test: you could say yes to it without regret.
If he picks B, a two-year commitment and fewer repair calls matter more to him than the extra S$50 a month. If he picks A, the monthly figure matters more to him, and he is willing to pay for the aircon to get it.
He might reject both and suggest a variation instead. Say he replies that he would do B at S$2,950. Farah now knows the longer lease appeals to him and the rent is still the sticking point. She can build a third package around that, such as S$2,925 on a two-year lease. A counter like this shows which issue appeals and which one is holding things up, so each round makes progress and the talks stop going in circles.
The same approach works in any negotiation. Arjun, negotiating video work with a developer, could offer eight videos a month at S$5,700 with 14-day payment, or six videos a month at S$4,500 with 30-day payment (example figures). A job candidate could ask the employer to choose between a higher base salary, or a slightly lower base with a sign-on bonus and an earlier review.
The most important rule is never to put a package on the table that you would not be happy to accept. If you include one you secretly hope will be refused and it gets picked, you are stuck. Backing out of your own offer damages trust far more than refusing an offer from the other side.
Before sending, check each package against your reservation point and your target. Farah's reservation point is S$3,050. Both of her packages are below it, and both give her terms she wants. Drop any package that fails either check, and adjust the rest until you value them about equally.
Send the packages together in one message, with a short line saying you are happy with either. Farah's message becomes "two ways this could work for both of us, which suits you better?" When the reply comes, look at what they picked or what they changed to see what they care about most, and use that to build your next offer.
For your own negotiation, build two packages that you would value about equally and that differ on at least two issues.
Build two packages for your negotiation that you value about equally and that differ on at least two issues.
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