Decide where you draw the line between firm negotiation and deception.
A friend tells you that last year she told her manager she had a competitor offer for 20% more. The offer did not exist. The manager matched part of it, and she has been pleased with herself ever since. She tells you the story because she thinks you might do the same at your next pay review.
Everyone draws an ethical line somewhere in negotiation. The line is easier to hold if you decide where it is before you are under pressure, so it helps to know what sits on each side of it.
Negotiation depends on each side keeping some things private. Your reservation point is the clearest example. Lesson 2.3, "Estimate theirs and find the zone of possible agreement", explained why you keep it to yourself: if the other side learns your walk-away number, the deal lands on that number. Keeping it private is normal and expected. Nobody expects you to volunteer it, and declining to answer "what's the lowest you'd accept?" is not dishonest. You can say something like: "I'd rather not discuss my bottom line, but I'm confident we can find a figure that works."
Stating a false fact is a different act, because it asks the other side to make decisions based on things that are not real. Inventing a competing offer, claiming a quote from another supplier you never received, and saying a flat has had other viewers when it has not are all false facts. The difference between private and false comes down to this: withholding information is legitimate, and stating something untrue is deception. Keeping things private is part of how negotiation works, while saying untrue things damages it. Most people recognise this line once it is stated plainly.
Between withholding and lying sits a grey zone. Saying "this is about the best I can do" when you could do a little more is in it. So is saying you are looking at a couple of other options when you have only browsed casually. These statements overstate how firm your limit is or how many options you have, and people judge them differently.
When you are unsure about something you plan to say, start by asking whether you are withholding information or stating something false. If it falls in the grey zone, use the most useful test there is: would you be comfortable if the other side later learned exactly what was true? If you would not, you have probably crossed your own line.
Your friend's bluff worked, but it could have gone badly in three ways. Her manager could have called it and told her to take the offer. She would then have had to choose between resigning for a job that did not exist and admitting the lie. The manager could also have asked to see the offer letter, or mentioned the offer to someone who knew the competitor's hiring.
A bluff that is never exposed still leaves you with a weak spot. You have to remember it, keep the story consistent and hope it never comes up again. An exposed bluff costs more than the current deal, because it makes every later claim you make suspect, including the true ones. A manager who once caught you inventing an offer will discount the real offer you bring next year.
The risk is higher here because Singapore's professional circles are small:
Recruiters move between agencies and remember candidates. Hiring managers have friends at competitors. Property agents talk to each other. Freelancers in the same field share stories about clients, and clients share stories about freelancers.
Reputations travel between companies and outlast individual deals. Someone you mislead in a supplier negotiation could interview you at another company five years later. A reputation for being straight, meaning firm but honest, is worth more than any single concession a lie could win. The small world also helps people known to be reliable: others give them the benefit of the doubt, share information with them more readily and recommend them as good to deal with.
Honest tools work almost as well as bluffs and carry no risk. A real BATNA, which you strengthened in lesson 2.4, "Strengthen your BATNA before the conversation", gives you genuine confidence. Market data, covered in module 7, gives you a reason for your position. Neither can be exposed, because both are true. Prepare these two in place of a bluff.
Sometimes you will suspect the other side of bluffing. A car salesperson says another buyer wants the same model. A landlord says three people want the flat. A client says another freelancer quoted half your rate.
Do not accuse them. You may be wrong, and an accusation damages the relationship whether or not you are right. Ask for evidence and slow the process down. To the client, you might say: "Thanks for letting me know. Could I see the other quote, so I can compare what's included?" To the landlord: "I understand if there are other interested tenants, but I need until the weekend to decide either way." If the claim is true, asking loses you nothing. If it is false, it often quietly disappears.
The most important step is to check the claim against your own preparation: what similar flats rent for, or what similar work pays. If the claim contradicts your research, you have good reason to doubt it. With a real BATNA behind you, you can afford to let the deal go.
Write down three rules of your own for what you will and won't do in a negotiation, each with an example, so that the line is drawn before anyone tests it.
Write three rules for what you will and will not do in a negotiation, with one example for each.
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