You will prepare a short, specific plan for raising a suspected scam with someone close to you.
Most people who suspect a relative is being scammed do one of two things. They say nothing because they don't want a fight, or they bring it up suddenly at dinner, it turns into an argument, and nobody mentions it again. Both leave the scammer with the field to themselves.
A written plan fixes that. It takes about twenty minutes, it makes you slow down before you speak, and it gives you something to fall back on if the conversation goes sideways. This exercise walks you through it, using what you learned in lesson 5.3, How to talk to someone you think is being scammed.
You can plan for a real person, or for an imagined one if nobody comes to mind. If you use an imagined person, base them on someone you know well, so the plan sounds like you talking to them.
Your plan fits on one page. It has four parts:
The situation: who the person is, what you've noticed, and why it worries you. Your opening line and three open questions. The checks you'll offer to do together, and the official contacts you'll use. What you'll do if they deny it, so the conversation can continue another day.
Work through the parts in order. Each one builds on the one before.
Start with the situation. Write two or three sentences about the person: their age, how they live, how comfortable they are with phones and apps. Then list what you've actually seen or heard. Stick to facts, such as "she asked how to make an overseas transfer" or "he's been on his phone late every night for a month". Then write one sentence on why it worries you, linked to the stages from lessons 5.1 and 5.2. Writing the facts separately from your worry helps you avoid leading with a conclusion.
Next, write your opening line. It should be warm, specific and free of any verdict. It names something you've noticed and shows you're interested, nothing more. Avoid the words "scam", "scammer" and "cheated" in the opening. You may need them later, but they shut the conversation down if they come first.
Then write three open questions. Good ones start with what, how or when, and can't be answered with yes or no. Aim for one about how they met, one about the person's story, and one about money or the platform, if money has come up. Read each question back and ask yourself whether it sounds like a trap. If it does, rewrite it.
After that, list the checks you'll offer. For a platform, that means the MAS Financial Institutions Directory and the Investor Alert List. For a person, it's a reverse image search on a profile photo. Then write down the official contacts you'll use: the person's bank, with the hotline taken from the bank's own website or the back of their card, and the ScamShield website at scamshield.gov.sg, where you'll also find the ScamShield Helpline number. Write these out in full now. You don't want to be searching for a number while your relative is watching and losing patience.
Finally, plan for denial. Write what you'll say if they get upset or insist everything is fine. The aim is to end on good terms and leave a way back. Then write one thing you'll do over the next few weeks to stay in touch normally, without making every conversation about the scam.
Here is an illustration. The person and details are made up.
The situation. My uncle Ah Seng is 67, a retired taxi driver, and lives alone in a Toa Payoh flat since my aunt passed away two years ago. He uses WhatsApp every day but rarely does banking on his phone. In the last month he's mentioned "a lady from Malaysia" several times, said he's learning to invest, and asked me if it's safe to install an app from a link. I'm worried because this matches the pattern of a friendly contact steering someone onto a trading app, from lesson 5.2.
Opening line. "Uncle, you've been talking about your new friend a lot lately. You sound happier. Tell me about her."
Three open questions. How did the two of you start chatting? What's she been teaching you about investing? How did you find the app she uses, and what's happened with the money so far?
Checks to offer. Look up the app's company name together in the MAS Financial Institutions Directory and the Investor Alert List. Do a reverse image search on one of her photos. Official contacts: his bank's hotline, copied from the back of his card, and the ScamShield website and Helpline.
If he denies it. "Okay, Uncle, I just wanted to understand it. If anything ever feels strange, like the app not letting you take money out, call me first. I won't scold you." Over the next month I'll keep visiting on Sundays as usual and ask about his week, his health and his friends at the coffee shop.
Notice that the opening says nothing about scams, and every question invites a story. The plan also leaves Ah Seng a reason to call his nephew the day a withdrawal fails, which is when the scam is easiest to see.
Read your finished plan as if you were the person receiving it. Does any line sound like an accusation? Does any question have the answer you want built into it? Is every contact number one you found yourself, from an official source? Fix anything that fails.
The opening line matters most, because it decides whether the rest of the plan gets used. Once your plan is complete, say that first line out loud a few times, the way you'd actually say it to them.
Complete the conversation plan for a real or imagined situation and rehearse the opening line aloud.
Junxiong-WFG Organisation is an authorised representative of AIA Financial Advisers Private Limited (Reg. No. 201715016G).