Prepare a short, specific plan for raising a suspected scam with someone close to you.
Most people who suspect a relative is being scammed do one of two things. Some say nothing because they want to avoid a fight. Others raise it suddenly at dinner, it turns into an argument, and nobody mentions it again. Either way, the scammer carries on and nobody in the family is asking questions.
A written plan helps you avoid both. Writing it makes you slow down before you speak. Having it in front of you gives you something to fall back on if the conversation goes wrong. The plan fits on one page and takes about twenty minutes to write. It puts into practice what you learned in Lesson 5.3, "How to talk to someone you think is being scammed".
You can plan for a real person or an imagined one. If you choose an imagined person, base them on someone you know well, so the plan sounds like you talking to them.
The plan has four parts: the situation; an opening line and three open questions; checks and official contacts; and what you will say if they deny anything is wrong. Work through them in that order, because each part builds on the one before.
Start with two or three sentences about the person: their age, how they live, and how comfortable they are with phones and apps.
Then list the facts you have actually seen or heard. Keep them separate from your worry. "On his phone late every night for a month" is a fact. "He's being cheated" is a worry. When you write the facts down on their own, you are less likely to open the conversation with a conclusion.
Finish this part with one sentence on why it worries you. Link it to the stages taught in Lessons 5.1 and 5.2.
The opening line should be warm and specific, and it should contain no verdict. It names something you have noticed and shows interest, and it does nothing more. Leave out the words "scam", "scammer" and "cheated". You may need them later in the conversation, but if they come first they shut it down.
Next, write three open questions. These are questions that start with what, how or when and cannot be answered yes or no. Aim for one about how they met the other person and one about that person's story. If money has come up, make the third one about the money or the platform. Read each question back to yourself, and if it sounds like a trap, rewrite it.
List the checks you can offer to do together. For a platform, the checks are the MAS Financial Institutions Directory and the Investor Alert List. For a person, it is a reverse image search on their profile photo.
Write out the official contacts in full. The first is the person's bank hotline, taken from the bank's own website or from the back of their card. The second is the ScamShield website at scamshield.gov.sg, which also lists the ScamShield Helpline number. With these written down in advance, you won't be searching for a number while your relative watches and loses patience.
Then write what you will say if they get upset or insist everything is fine. The aim is to end on good terms and leave a way back. Also plan one thing you will do over the next few weeks to stay in touch normally, so that every conversation isn't about the scam.
A scam is easiest to see at the point when a withdrawal fails. Your plan should give the person a reason to call you at that moment.
Ah Seng (an invented example, like every detail of his case) is 67 and a retired taxi driver. He has lived alone in a Toa Payoh flat since his wife, his nephew's aunt, died two years ago. He uses WhatsApp every day but rarely banks on his phone. In the last month he has mentioned "a lady from Malaysia" several times. He has said he is learning to invest, and he asked his nephew whether it is safe to install an app from a link. His nephew's worry sentence says that this matches the pattern from Lesson 5.2, where a friendly contact steers someone onto a trading app.
The opening line says Ah Seng sounds happier lately and asks him to talk about his new friend. It doesn't mention scams. The nephew's three questions ask how they started chatting, what she has been teaching him about investing, and how he found the app she uses and what has happened with the money so far.
For checks, the nephew offers to look up the app's company name together in the MAS Financial Institutions Directory and the Investor Alert List. He also offers to run a reverse image search on one of her photos. For contacts, he copies the hotline from the back of Ah Seng's bank card and writes out the ScamShield website and Helpline.
If Ah Seng says nothing is wrong, the nephew accepts it calmly. He asks his uncle to call him first if anything ever feels strange, such as the app not letting him take money out, and he promises not to scold him. Over the next month he keeps visiting on Sundays as usual and asks about Ah Seng's week, his health and his friends at the coffee shop. If a withdrawal fails, Ah Seng has a reason to call his nephew that same day.
Before you use the plan, read it as if you were the person receiving it. Check that no line sounds like an accusation. Check that no question has the answer you want built into it. Check that every contact number came from an official source and that you found it yourself. Fix anything that fails these checks.
The opening line matters most, because it decides whether the rest of the plan gets used. Once your plan is complete, say that first line out loud a few times, the way you'd actually say it to them.
Fill in the conversation plan for a real or made-up situation, then say your opening line out loud.
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