You will be able to agree an update rhythm and channel with your manager and keep to it.
Kai Ling joined a bank's operations team three months ago. Her previous manager liked a long email every Friday, so she sends her new manager one too. He never replies to them. Then, at their monthly one-to-one, he says he feels a bit out of the loop and asks her to "keep him posted". She's confused, because she has been posting every week.
It turns out he reads chat all day and email almost never, and he'd prefer a two-line message whenever something moves. Neither of them did anything wrong. They just never discussed it.
Most people work out how their manager likes to be updated by trial and error, or by copying what worked for their last manager. That's slow, and it often goes wrong, because managers differ a lot and rarely say what they want unprompted.
The faster way is to ask. It can feel odd to raise it, as if you should already know, but most managers appreciate the question. It shows you're thinking about their time.
Three questions cover most of it. How often would you like to hear from me about my work? Which channel works best for you, chat, email or in person? And what should I always tell you straight away, without waiting for the regular update?
The third question is the one people forget, and it may be the most useful. Some managers want to hear immediately about anything involving a client complaint. Others want to know right away about any cost over a certain amount, or anything that touches a regulator. Knowing their list means you never have to guess whether something is worth interrupting them for.
You can ask at a one-to-one, or in a short message if you don't have regular one-to-ones: "I want to make sure I'm keeping you updated in the way that suits you best. Could we spend five minutes on that at our next catch-up?"
Once you ask, the answers can surprise you. Some managers want a line in chat every day: what you did, what's next, anything blocked. Others want a single email on Friday and nothing in between unless something is wrong. Some want a shared tracker they can check whenever they like, and no messages at all.
All of these work once they're agreed. The trouble only starts when you send a weekly email to someone who wants daily chat, or ping someone ten times a day when they wanted one summary.
It also depends on the work. A new joiner on a first project usually needs to update more often than someone experienced on familiar work. A project close to a deadline needs more frequent updates than one in its early weeks. When you agree the rhythm, it's worth saying when you expect it to change: "Daily while we're in testing, then back to weekly after go-live."
Once agreed, keep to it. A regular update that arrives every Friday builds a kind of trust that irregular brilliance doesn't. If you're going to miss one because of leave or a busy week, say so in advance.
Many one-to-ones are wasted. The employee arrives and reads out a list of what they did this week, the manager nods, and thirty minutes later nobody has discussed anything that needed discussing.
If your manager already gets your written updates, the one-to-one doesn't need to repeat them. Use it for what writing does badly: problems where you want advice, decisions you want to talk through, feedback on your work, and your own development. Lesson 2.4, Know when to stop typing and talk, set out which kinds of conversation need voice. A one-to-one is where they go.
A simple way to make this happen is to send a short list of topics a day before. "For tomorrow: one, the vendor issue on the migration, I'd like your view on options. Two, I'd like to take the data course in April, can we discuss timing?" Your manager arrives prepared, and the meeting goes straight to what matters.
The arrangement you agree isn't permanent. Revisit it whenever something shifts: you take on a new project, your role grows, your manager's own reporting changes, or the team moves to hybrid working with fewer days together in the office.
The biggest change is a new manager. Don't assume your new manager wants what your old one did. Kai Ling's story at the start of this lesson is exactly that mistake. In your first week or two with a new manager, ask the same questions again, even if the answers seem obvious.
You can also check in after a month or so: "Is the Friday email still working for you, or would you like something different?" Small adjustments now save a frustrated conversation later.
The questions you ask will be your own, phrased in the way you'd normally speak to your manager. The activity below asks you to write them down before your next one-to-one, so they don't get lost in whatever else comes up.
Write the three questions you will ask your manager about how they like to be updated, and ask them at your next one-to-one.
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