Trim a wedding budget by deciding what matters most, rather than taking the same amount off every line.
Mei and Daniel (an invented couple, whose made-up figures also run through lessons 3.1 and 3.2) have added up their wedding, and the total is higher than they can afford. The usual reaction is to trim a little from every line: a slightly cheaper photographer, slightly fewer flowers, a slightly smaller ring.
Each of those cuts hurts little on its own. Together they make a wedding that is a little worse at everything, which nobody wanted, and the total often still does not fit. A better approach is to decide what matters most to each of you, protect it, and cut from the rest, starting with the lines that move the most money.
Before you change any figure, each of you writes down your top three wedding priorities, separately. Your list holds your own priorities. Don't guess what your partner wants, and don't record what your parents want.
Then compare the two lists. Anything on neither list is the first place to cut. An item that appears on only one list gets discussed before anyone cuts it.
Mei's top three were the photographs, the tea ceremony with both families, and her grandmother being comfortable on the day. Daniel's were the food, having his university friends there, and not starting married life in debt. Neither of them listed the decor, the bridal car or the favours, so those became their first lines to cut.
Most couples find their lists overlap less than they expected. Most also find that the items neither of them cares about add up to a useful sum.
Once your priorities are protected, work through the rest in this order:
Protect each person's top three and cut the lines that appear on neither list. Look at the price per table, through the date and the venue. Look at the guest list, checking the ang bao side for every group you drop. Cut fixed costs last, one line at a time, starting with the one that saves the most.
The second lever is the price per table, the per-table banquet charge. The same hotel often charges different prices for weekday and weekend dates, for lunch and dinner, and for peak and off-peak months. Some auspicious dates carry an extra premium on top.
At Mei and Daniel's hotel, a Saturday dinner is S$1,500 a table and a weekday lunch is S$1,300 a table, both before charges. With 10% service charge and 9% GST added, the difference is S$239.80 a table (S$200 x 1.10 x 1.09). Across 30 tables that is 30 x S$239.80 = S$7,194.
That S$7,194 is before you adjust for ang bao. Some guests may give a little less at a lunch than at a dinner, so lower your ang bao estimate before you count a lunch saving. Even after that adjustment, the saving is large for a change that only moves the time your guests are fed.
Venue type works the same way on a bigger scale. A restaurant, a club or a community venue can be priced very differently from a hotel ballroom for the same number of guests.
Lesson 3.1, "What a Singapore wedding costs, line by line", split wedding costs into fixed costs and per-guest costs. The guest list drives every per-guest line at once: tables, invitations, favours, and often the size of venue you need. No other single decision moves as much money.
Ang bao income, covered in lesson 3.2, moves with the guest list too, so cutting guests also cuts the ang bao you can expect. Mei and Daniel's all-in cost for one table is S$1,798.50, which is S$1,500 plus 10% service charge plus 9% GST. Suppose they cut 3 tables of friends and colleagues, which is 30 guests at 10 to a table. The tables save 3 x S$1,798.50 = S$5,395.50, and invitations and favours for those 30 guests save another S$90, so the total saving is S$5,485.50.
At an estimated S$140 of ang bao per guest, they also give up 30 x S$140 = S$4,200. Their net cost, the saving minus the ang bao given up, falls by S$5,485.50 - S$4,200 = S$1,285.50.
The guest list is still a strong lever. Its savings come from guests whose ang bao is well below the cost of their seat, and from cash you no longer need to hold. A smaller banquet can also lower a venue's minimum spend, the deposit and the final bill you have to settle, so cutting guests reduces how much cash you need. If your goal is a lower net cost, check the ang bao side before you decide who to drop.
The last lever is family expectations, which is not a cost line. In many families, parents expect to invite their own guests, sometimes many tables of them. Some parents expect to pay for those guests' tables, or to receive the ang bao from those guests. Other families offer a contribution towards the whole wedding. Some expect a particular venue or a ten-course dinner.
Find out what each family expects and will contribute early, before any deposit is paid. A conversation in the first month costs nothing, while the same conversation after the venue is booked can cost you a deposit. It is easier to have with a budget sheet open than with a vague worry.
Write what you agree into the budget: which tables the parents' guests fill, who pays for those tables, and who keeps that ang bao. Family expectations are part of the budget, so cost them like any other line. How the two of you share costs and decisions between yourselves is covered in "Money as a couple and a family".
To start, sit down together at the same table. Each of you writes your own top three wedding priorities before seeing the other's list. Then compare them, mark the items on neither list as your first cuts, and talk through anything that appears on only one.
Sit down with your partner. Each of you writes your top three wedding priorities and the three costs you would cut first.
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