Estimate ang bao income cautiously and plan your cash flow around when it arrives.
Get your guest list out, or whatever version of it you have now, and sort the names into a few groups by how each person knows you or your parents. Those groups are the starting point for an ang bao estimate. The estimate then decides how much of the wedding you pay for from your own savings.
Couples in Singapore who have had banquet weddings often say the ang bao will cover the cost. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it does not. Some couples count the packets the morning after the wedding and find they are tens of thousands of dollars short of the hotel bill, with their savings already spent on deposits. Ang bao is real income and belongs in your wedding budget. The two common mistakes are estimating it too generously and counting on it too early.
Many banquet guests give at least enough to cover the cost of their seat, and some give more. Informal guides to how much to give circulate each year, often sorted by venue type, but they are rough at best. What a guest gives depends on how close they are to you or your parents, their age and income, whether they come as a couple or as a family, and the venue. A close aunt who has known you since birth and a colleague invited out of politeness will not give the same amount. A student cousin may give much less than the seat cost. No single figure can be relied on, and any average you hear describes other people's weddings, so it does not predict yours.
A better method is to split the guest list into groups and give each group its own cautious estimate. This is a figure you would not be surprised to see beaten, not the figure you hope for. If guests come as a couple and give one packet, estimate that packet and split it across their two seats. Count children inside their parents' estimate. Multiply the number of guests in each group by that group's estimate, then add the groups together.
Mei and Daniel's seat cost is S$179.85 after service charge and GST, which is one tenth of a S$1,798.50 table (from lesson 3.1; all of their figures are invented examples). They split their 300 guests into four groups:
Close family: 60 guests at S$200 each, S$12,000 Other relatives: 80 guests at S$130 each, S$10,400 Friends and colleagues: 120 guests at S$140 each, S$16,800 Parents' friends: 40 guests at S$150 each, S$6,000
Their cautious total is S$45,200. Only one group, close family at S$200, is estimated above the seat cost. If they had used a single average and assumed every guest covers their seat at about S$180, they would have expected S$54,000. That is S$8,800 more than the group estimate. A single average can overestimate the total badly, and you only see the gap the morning after the wedding, when nothing can be done about it.
The net cost is your full wedding budget minus your cautious ang bao estimate. It is the part you pay from your own money. Mei and Daniel's full budget from lesson 3.1 is S$75,155. Taking away S$45,200 leaves a net cost of S$29,955, and that is the basis of the S$30,000 net target they set in lesson 1.1.
Plan your savings around the net cost and count any ang bao above the estimate as a bonus. A bonus can go straight to the next goal on your sheet, which is usually the home.
Who keeps the ang bao is a separate question, and families settle it differently. In some families, ang bao from the parents' guests goes to the parents, who then pay for those tables. In others, all of it goes to the couple. Agree on this with your family early, because it changes both sides of the budget: the income you count and the costs you carry. Lesson 3.3 returns to this question.
Deposits are paid months before the wedding, but ang bao arrives on the night. You have to find the cash for everything in between yourselves, and even a perfect estimate does not change that.
Mei and Daniel's banquet deposit is due a year and a half before the wedding. The photographer, bridal package, rings and solemnisation are also paid before the day, so S$31,200 goes out before any ang bao arrives. That is more than their S$29,955 net cost. Their hotel accepts the S$43,955 balance within a week after the dinner, and the ang bao covers it with S$1,245 left over. If the hotel had wanted the full balance before the day, they would have needed about S$75,000 in cash up front, which their savings could not cover.
Add up every payment due before your wedding and check that your savings can cover the total. Before you sign with any venue, ask when the final payment is due and how it can be paid. The answer can change your plan more than the price does.
So the ang bao estimate has two uses. It gives you the net cost to save for, and it shows how much of the final bill can wait until the wedding night. Both only work if the estimate is cautious.
Your own guest list comes next. If it isn't settled yet, rough groups with made-up figures will still show you where the net cost lands.
Split your guest list into groups, give each group a cautious or made-up ang bao figure, and work out the net cost.
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